VERTIGO

NIGHTMARE

Im pouring out to the heavens tasteful tears of lost serenity.
The night appears more like stranger than a known friend.
Shades of dull grey flitted around my rainbow-colored dreams.
Ogres came to chase my pixies away. sudden darkness clouded my entire nature.
And I feEL like Im running on an endless circle of fright.
Spell-bounded by the wicked witch of loath and envy.

The quivering consciousness of seeing everything in a mess is maddening.
Her burlesque creeping my senses into a submission of defeat.
I saw thorns of roses binding you completely to her power.
And my shouts fell on an echoing silence as her facade turned into a face of my own.
The mirror of devotion broken into pieces. I stared at the shattered glass.
And I saw everything from a bottomless pit of hopelessness.

Wilted flowers on the ground. Her bitter perfume lingered on my senses.
The beauty of perfection ruined. A love as sweet as honey; now a mere recollection of what used to be.
And Im lying alone with my head on the pillow, my face streamed with sorrow.
Thinking of you. Thinking of us. Of what tomorrow brings.
With these demons lurking under my bed every time my psyche seeks tranquility.
And I wake; Panting, crying, screaming in recurrence.

To leave you alone

I feel like I am soaking in this fallacy of silly devotion;a panorama of infinite love. As I write this figures down, I feel the need to release myself from this monotony of dying emotions. I looked at you today and I felt the cold rush of blood on my cheek. I felt your lips dry from love. Your vista that of a wilting plant. My psyche whispered to you the lonely cries of a prisoner in plea. You heed not her warning. I blew upon your face the serenity of my psyche as you sleep soundly for the night. Broken vows. Unsettled debts. Disturbed stars. And yes the smoke of malfunction came unto me, and has eaten my flesh raw. Oh yes. I do love you. But..now. I am in search of this waning diamond. I need to find my lost character. Look at me tonight. Look at me today. See me past the facade of euphoria. See me past my nostalgia. Now that rain has come, dark clouds covered the beauty of my Selene; And I do not know whom to turn to. Save me. I beg you. Shelter me from the drenching acids of perplexity and horror. Restore the pinkness of my parched lips. Breathe new life to my senses. I cling on to you my stranger. Cure me from this curse. I am torn in between two. I have tasted the poison. Come, celebrate with me. Come, fill me with your disgust. Kill me with no emotion. Tell me how bad you want me to suffer. Tell me how long I have to feel this addiction. Pardon my ignorance. Pardon my mistakes. Suicidal wish. Read me.

Scrutiny of Bliss

I went to the shoreline to watch the blue bearing crash into the sand.
The blustery weather skipping around me like a kid wanting to play.
Have you ever felt so unruffled amidst the deterioration of your nature?
So overwhelm by this emotion called love that you feel like your masking in bitter ecstasy.

I commit to memory this certain conversation we had back then.
About my coldness towards your stance of dedication to me.
And I cant help but question my own allegiance on this affiliation of constant bickering.
Really, I'd like to think of this as something typical but...

I dont have all the answers. And this sensation of despair and love is all I have.
This isnt even nostalgia. I am in a sense happy of something indefinite.
I feel it in my proclivity everyday. Like butterflies all around me. Pastel colors waiting to explode.
Or maybe this is just chimera to push myself to inscribe something forlorn when in detail Im really not.

I am happy. There's no rationale not to be. Life had been kind to me.
She gave me sweet breezes to get pleasure from. She sang to me tunes of optimism when I felt wretched.
I danced ballet with love. She took me in slow circles. She lifted me up to to the heavens. I was beseiged.
It's crazy, the sensation esctatic; I would give up everything before I'd separate myself from this euphoria.

Thank God for life and love. Thank God for bliss and despair.
I saw birds flying from across this fill of tears. I thought of you.
Then suddenly I felt your presence from behind me. I heard your voice in a sing-song.
Your propinquity took all the solitude away. Mutually we enjoyed the sensation of being parodixacally in love.

I've never been so grateful in my whole subsistence. Until now.

Shadowed Dreams

Im drinking blood. It's taste bittersweet and neurotic. Im dreaming of how it would be to taste human flesh. To pound on one's prey with no sympathy. Eyes burning from the sensation of want. Teeth sharp as that of the the king of the jungle. To haunt for that superstar and see her mad in front of you. Mad from fear. Mad from fatality. She evokes on her dread. The sight of her frantic; reminds you of lust.

You feel her eyes on you. Scared. Begging your amnesty. You smirk. You enjoy the leisure in front of you. You take in her last memoir. Those windows of her psyche. Those brown almonds, that cause your death. Her aroma maddening your senses. The urge to eradicate her; dominant with each passing minute. Her horror sweet. Her screeches music. This female like no other. Tonight, she shall be yours. Tonight she shall dance the rhythm of the dying.

Loud music playing it's last demonic tunes. The moon in it's grandeur. You saw her rapture as you drained her from the last splendor of mortality. Her body abating in your touch. You conquered her discomfort. You interacted with her psyche in the hours of darkness. She welcomed you with great desire. The waiting over. The longing fulfilled. Sinister lovers of time. And yes, the last drop of blood is mine. It's taste bittersweet and neurotic.

CRY

Tonight, my soul shall dance with the fading hymn of devotion for you. I shall rest my heart from the trouble of desolation and rejection. Maybe soon, when this gash of space is occupied I shall once again dance the hymn of love. Yes, all this is predestined to happen and I accept with open arms the corollary of my verdict. I shall NOT run after the seventh heaven. I am tired of this quest for LOVE. Along the concourse of my broken imaginings, the road shall drenched of acidic anxiety. The night has come and so my soul shan't sing any more songs of bliss. Shan't cry for aid to the anonymous. Shan't hope to saved. Amidst all that I have considered, I look out to the blankness of the long journey ahead of me. Dark, dark clouds cloud my vision and I am in anticipation of what lies across the darkness. The world around me is splitting into two. Divisions of good reminiscence and euphoric memoirs. I have burned mine long ago. There is no sense of brooding over the unfamilliar. I have given up the resolution of fidelity; I have isolated my whole from your science. This segment might just be astranger passing by or it maybe my soul waking me to veracity. And if all stages will surely close, let the rain fall down and burn me breathing.

I walk the distance away from you. I embrace myself from all these insecurities. This feeling of negative response is causing my eyes to wet with tears. I choke on their deafening screeches of nuisance day after day. I hold back my tears. I stop myself from crying my blemishes to their raging faces. Everyone trying to pull my distinction down. How can I find myself the strength to fight back? when I have lost all else the will to survive. I stare at my hands, wounds bleeding. blood wont stop. I shrieked my silent pain to the world. Look at me now, see me beyond the facade of a beautiful face. See the scratches of questions etched on every line of my pelt. See the emptiness that continously cloud my soul. I kneel down, my knees weak. my heart tired. I am shaking from the aches of melancholic philosophies. Nobody sees. Every inscription of words, every trickery of this game I play, every guesswork is a step towards my true identity. Who amongst these crowd faces shall buy time to aid my miserable whole? I shiver from all the pains of wrong parody. I cover my ears. I hear nothing. Nothing. This time I cry my eyes out with blood. Endless grieving over my entireness. I cannot take this throbbing anymore. I see a knife. And I taste my own blood. I close my eyes in deep slumber.

Gaunt Psyche

She disturbs my every sleep with her opaque mantra.
I wake up in the middle of my slumber sweaty from her garrote.
My whole body quivers from the conviction that she would not desert me as easily.
Everything in me cries for serenity to befall on my psyche.
I cannot stand this peril, i cannot let her win this combat of remorse.
She is a mischievious sprite in search of her next prey.
Souls weak from the acrimony of love, she devours each one of them alive.
Until hope is gone and everything else turns to dark;
Psyches trapped in madness, lost amongst the vastness of black.
She, the depraved witch of the east has come to battle with my being.
I am neither full nor packed with enough vigor to win this struggle.
The crows with their shrieking say-so sang the song of defeat,
I needed your love. i searched for it inside me but i found it nonexistent.
My pysche cannot live without your science. how can i now resist death?
You've left me unarmored. you stripped me of my magnitude.
She laughed her demonic wee. gleeful over her tenure of yet another soul.
A soul emaciated from dull pledges. my psyche sang her last straw of ache.